5 years
by daansc88
Summary: Javier wakes up after 5 years of coma. How can he deal with everything that happend in the meantime?
1. Chapter 1

Javier Esposito was staring out of the window.

He had just woken up - from a long coma - like the doctor had told him. For him it hadn't been different from the wake up after a deep, long sleep.

He had not woken 5 years, she had said, he missed 5 years and he couldn't believe it. She had assured him to call someone, he hadn't asked whom.

A short time later there was a knock and his partner Kevin Ryan entered. Kevin hadn't changed a lot. Except maybe some gray hair at the temples.

"Hey bro, good to see you awake again," Ryan greeted him with a smile.

"Is it true?" Javier wanted to know hoarse, his voice apparently wasn't used to talk.

Kevin took a chair and sat down beside his bed. He nodded. "Javi it's true," Kevin said sadly.

"How did it happen? I can't remember."

"You were in an accident, a drug addict suv driver hit your car at the drivers side. You had several injurys, also serious internal bleeding. Since they brought you her you never woke up again. The doctors didn't know why. They ran all sorts of tests with you, but they have never found out why," explained Kevin.

"What's happened in the meantime," Esposito wanted to know quietly, almost a little afraid of the answer.

"Jenny and I have 2 children, a boy, he is 3 and a 8 month old girl," said Ryan.

Without reacting to what Ryan said Javi stared out the window.

"Why isn't Lanie here," he whispered softly.

The last thing he could remember was that Lanie finally get over her fears and that they were together again and planning a future together.

"She's on vacation ... with her daughter and her fiance," said Ryan.

"Lanie has a daughter and is engaged?" Whispered Javier and Ryan was could see, that this news broke his former partners heart.

"You have a daughter," said Ryan, damn it, he was really not the one who should tell his best friend that, on the other hand had Javi the right to know everything.

"I have a daughter? A daughter who is raised by another?" He looked at Ryan and the Irishman could clearly see the pain in the eyes of his best friend.

"Yes, I ... You must know that it wasn't easy for Lanie, she has found out that she is pregnant 2 weeks after your accident. She was here every day, she was always with you, but I think at some point it was just too much for her. Taking care of a baby and your coma. No one could tell her if you will ever wake up again. Eventually, she had to let you go and to live on," Kevin said softly.

Javier nodded slightly, he understood it, but only because he understood it,didn't mean that it didn't hurt.

"I would like to be alone," he whispered finally fighting back tears.

Ryan looked at him, he really didn't want to leave Javier alone now. "Javier, I really can stay a bit longer," he objected.

"Kevin go, please," Esposito squeezed out from between clenched teeth.

"Okay, but I'll leave my number you can always call me, day and night," Ryan said as he stood up.

Javier nodded and turned away from Ryan. As the Irishman reached the door, he heard a faint sob, he turned around and saw the body of his best friend shaking. It broke his heart, but he knew that Javier was serious when he said that he now wanted to be alone, so he closed the door behind him with a heavy heart.

* * *

Later in the day his mother came by.

"Javi, I'm so glad that you woke up," she said brightly and wrapped her son in her arms.

"Where's Dad?" Javier asked, after they had come out of the embrace.

Maria took the hand of her son. "Your father died 2 years ago," she said quietly.

Javier had to swallow, he didn't want to cry again. "How," he asked softly.

"He had an inoperable brain tumor. He went to the doctor because he always had a headache and sometimes he almost fainted. 5 weeks after they discovered the tumor, he was death," Maria told softly.

"How are you?" Javier wanted to know quietly.

"At first it was hard, but you learn to live with it. And now that you're awake again, I'm a whole lot better," explained Maria.

"Mama do you ... do you know Lanie's daughter?" Javier asked after a moment of silence.

"How do you know about her?"

"Ryan was here before. Do you know her? What's her name?" He asked urgently.

"Her name is Maya and of course I know her. She's my granddaughter and Lanie always wanted that the little girl also spends time with us. I look after her once a week," Maria told.

"That's good. Does she know who I am? I mean, does she know that I exist?" Javier asked and his mother could hear that he was afraid of the answer.

"Oh Javi, it's not easy, she is only 4. She knows that there is someone that her mom visits from time to time in the hospital, but I don't think she realizes that you're her father. For her Jason is her dad and even if I don't like saying this, but he's a great father," explanied Maria.

Javier looked away when a tear ran down his cheek again.

"I would have loved to be a great dad for her," he whispered, before he turned away from his mother and pressed his face into the pillow to hide the tears he couldn't stop.

"Javi, I know," his mother whispered also close to tears as she stroked his back.

"Please leave me alone," Javier whispered with tears-choked voice.

"Okay, I'll come back tomorrow," agreed his mother and ran her fingers through his hair again.

"Can you bring me some clothes and ... and photos of Maya? "

"Sure," she said goodbye and squeezed his shoulder briefly before she left the room.

* * *

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	2. Chapter 2

The next morning he sat in his bed and stared out of the window when his mother entered the room.

"Hello Javi," she greeted him quietly and put a bag at the foot of his bed.

"How are you?" she asked.

Javi shrugged. "The doctors say I can go to rehab tomorrow. They'll transfer me to another hospital, outside the City. They said that the proximity to the sea and a bit of nature wouldn't be bad for me,"said Esposito.

"I will visit you every day anyway," promised his mother.

"Mom, you don't have to," objected Javier.

"But I want to. I had long enough to deal without you," explanied his mother and took a T-shirt and sweat pants out of the bag.

"Is that okay?" She held out the clothes.

Javier nodded wearily and took the stuff, but remain otherwise sit motionless.

"Don't you want to change?"

Javier looked at her and bit his lower lip. "Can you help me to change? I'm not able to do it alone, my muscles are too weak," he said softly and Maria Esposito saw how embarresd her son was.

"Of course," she said softly and took the clothes from her son.

After they had managed to put on his clothes Javier sank exhausted into the pillow.

"What will you do in rehab," asked Maria, as she looked at her son.

"I have to build almost all my muscles again, and then I don't know," said Javier.

"Should I call Lanie and tell her that you're awake?"

Javier thought for a moment and shook his head. "No, she should relax and enjoy their holidays, and also I don't know what I want to say to her," her son replied honestly.

"Okay, but I'll talk to her on the answering machine, then they will call me as soon as they are back home," his mother decided.

"Did you get the photos?"

"Yes, of course." She reached into the bag and pulled out a photo album.

"Can I keep it here?" Javier asked, before he had even thrown a look.

"Of course. Don't you want to watch it now?" She asked as she saw the album Javier pressed it only against his chest.

"I have to sleep for now. I'm already so incredibly tired again. I'm sorry, but more than a few hours I can't do," he said with a suppressed yawn.

"I'll leave you alone. But this afternoon Allison will come over," said his mother.

"It's okay," Javier said, and closed his eyes, the album still stuck in his arm.

* * *

Javier slowly flipped through the photo album, as it knocked and his little sister entered the room.

"Hey, Javi," she greeted him and took him in her arms for a long time. She had seen, he looked at the photos and she had seen because of his red, swollen eyes that he must have wept.

"Hey Alli," he greeted her, laid his head on her shoulder, holding tightly in that embrace.

"How are you," Allison wanted to know, after they had been sitting for quite a while together and Javier eventually broke away from her again.

Javier shrugged. "I don't know if I'm honest. I feel weak, but I have no real pain and otherwise ..., " he didn't finished the sentence, when his gaze fell back on the photo album, which lay beside him in bed.

Allison sighed heavily and took the hand of her brother. "Anything I can do for you?"

"I'm afraid not, I'm so confused ...," he said quietly.

"How are you?" He wanted to know finally, perhaps it could distract him a little.

"I'm now working at the New York Times," she beamed at him.

"Hey, that's wonderful, that's what you've always wanted." He squeezed her hand and looked at her a little wistfully.

"Hey," she said simply and gently stroked his arm. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply.

"What's going on," asked Alli.

"Nothing, it's all ...," he broke off. What should he say it? It's all right? Nothing was all right... For all other maybe everything was fine, but not for him.

"Can you tell me a bit of Maya?" He begged after a while of silence

"Of course. Come, let us look at the photos!

"Allison took off his shoes and lay beside her brother in the bed.

"She was born on 8th October 2013. She weighed about 3200 grams. The exact time I do not know, but I know that it was in the early morning hours. You see, she alredy had at her birth a lot of black hair, she was so sweet, "said Allison, pointing to a photo that was probably made shortly after birth. The little girl in the arms of her mother, who smiled tired but happy at the camera.

"And I wasn't able to witness all of this." Javier whispered softly, his head on her shoulder.

"Hey, I'm always there for you," Allison whispered and breathed her brother a kiss on the forehead.

"Can we go on at another occasion?" Javier asked and closed the album.

"Of course," agreed his sister because she could read in his face all too clearly how difficult it was for him.

* * *

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	3. Chapter 3

_**OKay, first I want to say some things: **_

_**I have no idea how a rehab after a come really works, so please forgive me if there are any mistakes in the medical aspect...**_

_**I'm also sorry for spelling mistakes, but I'm no natvie speaker.**_

_**Last but not least I want to thank LadyAilith for the help.**_

* * *

Javier closed his tired eyes, again a tough day of rehab ended. He for almost two weeks here now and as each day his whole body ached, but at least today was one of the days when he noticed one of these tiny progress he made. Today, he had managed to sit there for the first time in his bed, not long, probably not even 1 minute before his muscles had begun to tremble, but still.

The door opened and he was too tired to open my eyes, it wassurely only a nurse who wanted to check him again. Moreover, the visit time was long over and his mother, the only regular visitor, was gone about an hour ago, after she had fed her son because he wasn't able to eat his soup without spilling half of it. Over soup and porridge he couldn't eat anything because his stomach had to get used to solid food first.

"Javier," whispered as a familiar voice. His heart beat faster. _Lanie is here._

He opened his eyes and looked at her in silence. _Oh God, she's still so beautiful._

"May I sit down," asked Lanie uncertain. He realized that he had just stared at her.

"Yes, of course," said Javier, watching silently as she took a chair and pushed him to his bed and sat down. _What am I supposed to tell her?_

"How are you?" Lanie took his hand in hers.

"As good as can be expected under the circumstances." He hated that phrase, but what would he say that?

_Should I tell my ... ex-girlfriend that my whole body aches, but that other things hurt far more?_ While these thoughts passed through his mind, he felt Lanie's thumb gently stroking the back of his hand, and what a pleasant tingle on his skin, it left behind.

"Can you tell a bit more," Lanie wanted to know with gentle smile.

Javier eluded her, with sad smile, his hand and sat up a little bit on the bed. "It's exhausting," he said, closing his eyes and swallowing hard.

"I .. I'm sorry that I came by so late, but we have just come home and I have listened to the calls, and when I heard Maria, I just had to see you," said Lanie.

"It's okay. It's good to see you," replied Javier. Yes, it was really good to see her, but above all it was painful.

"I would have come sooner, you'd just have to call," said Lanie and began nervously to play me the strap of her purse.

"I know, but I wanted you ... you all to enjoy your holidays, "said Javier honest ... and I was scared shitless before that moment, he added in thought.

"Was it a nice holiday?" asked Javier, maybe it was stupid to ask something mundane, but he did not really know what to say or do.

Lanie also smiled uneasily. "Yes, we were at Jason's parents, they have a Fram in Nevada and Maya loves horses. Which little girl doesn'?. Anyway, she's been sitting for the first time on a pony and we really had a lot of fun there. Jason has a big family and all came together because his father 70th Birthday. Maya has loved to play it with her cousins and ..., "Lanie trailed off as she saw Javier's sad look, she would have liked to slap herself at this moment.

"I .. I'm sorry, "she muttered, staring at her hands entered.

"It's okay, I wasn't there for her first steps, then it isn't not too bad when I'm not there when my daughter is sitting for the first time on a pony," Javier said hoarsely, fighting back tears.

"Javi, I shouldn't have told you that, I'm so sorry. I want you to get to know Maya, preferably immediately," Lanie said.

"I also want to get to know her, but can we please talk about the how and when tomorrow? I'm really tired," said Javier, who at the moment just didn't have the strength to continue.

"Okay, I'll come back tomorrow," said Lanie, stood up to lean over to kiss his forehead, but Javier turned away.

"Don't. I shouldn't enjoy something that I can't have anyway," he whispered, wiping the tear, which ran down his cheek.

Lanie bit her lips almost in tears. "Good night," she mumbled before she hastily left the room.

* * *

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	4. Chapter 4

Javier was nervous, because today, he would see his daughter for the first time.

They had in the last few weeks only the phone, as he had agreed with Lanie that Maya shouldn't see him until he was able to sit for long periods.

The phone calls with Maya had mostly been brief, which was understandable, after all, Maya didn't even knew the man with whom she telephoned. The phone calls and conversations with Lanie had significantly longer, even when it was mostly just about Maya. Questions of Lanie how he was, he always answered evasively, he didn't want to tell her how much he missed her, because he was afraid to make everything more complicated.

He lay in his bed, waiting for his visit. It was one of the first warm days of the year and the sun shone through his window, as it knocked at his door.

Lanie came in and held Maya's hand.

"Hey you two," Esposito smiled at them both.

"Hello Javi," Lanie greeted him while Maya holding her stuffed dog and timidly pressed to her mother's leg.

"Hey, don't you want to welcome Javi," Lanie wanted to know from her daughter while she crouched down beside her, to be at eye level.

Maya eyed him, then whispered a quiet "hello" before turning back to her mother cuddling her face in the neck of her mum.

"I'm sorry, she's always a bit shy with strangers," said Lanie, picked up her daughter and went to Javi.

"It's okay," said Javier, ignoring the pain of the fact that he was a stranger to his daughter.

Lanie had set on the chair beside Javier's bed, with Maya on her lap and the two didn't talk for long, as Maya whispered something in her ear.

Lanie smiled at her daughter. "You'll have to ask him yourself," she said.

Maya looked wide-eyed first at Lanie and then at her father.

"May I pet your hair?" Maya asked Javier quietly.

Javier looked surprised. "Of course," he answered, smiling.

"I think she likes your hair because you're the first black-haired man she meets, our fathers had both been gray hairs," explanied Lanie and sat Maya on the bed of her father.

Maya put her stuffed dog on Javier's belly, crawled to the head end and gently caressed the short hairs and chuckled. "It feels funny," she said, giggling.

Javier bit her lips and Lanie realized that he was fighting back tears, but finally lost this fight. He wiped the tear away hastily, but Maya had seen it.

"Why are you crying," she asked seriously, and took her hand out of his hair.

"Because I am so happy that I can meet you," Javier said honestly.

Maya looked at him and didn't know how she should classify this information. Then she smiled at him, took her stuffed dog and gave it to Javier.

"This is Buddy and he always helps when I cry, you can hold him till mom and I go, maybe he will help you, too," said Maya.

Javier smiled and took the dog from his daughter.

Lanie watched it smiling, Maya usually took much longer to thaw with new people and that she gave her beloved stuffed animal to Javier was really extraordinary. Maybe Maya felt the same comforting feeling of safety that even she still had when Javier was nearby.

The three spent a happy afternoon together, they went out to the playground, where Javier was still confined to a wheelchair, until he will be able to walk longer distances, he still had a long way to go.

The only painful for Javier was the goodbye.

Knowing that Lanie and his daughter went to another man home, broke his heart, but he knew he had to cope with that and he'd somehow manage to do, because ho would do everything to be a part in the life of his daughter.

* * *

_**Sorry that it took me so long for the next update, but the last weeks have been busy.**_

_**What do you think?**_

_**Good? Bad? In any case please review!**_


	5. Chapter 5

Some weeks later:

"Maya, you know that we met Daddy at the park when we were on the way to the playground, right?" Lanie asked her daughter while she sat next to Maya on Javier's bed.

Maya nodded. "I don't remember exactly, but you and dad like to tell the story," said Maya.

"And I know that Jason is like a daddy to you, but you know also that a real daddy is already there at your birth, right?"

"Yes, but why wasn't there someone when I was born?" The girl exed her mum curiosly.

"Because your daddy was very sick. Maya, Javier's your real daddy," she told her daughter.

Maya looked at Esposito in surprise. "Do I have two daddies now? Like Sarah?" Maya referd to her friend, her parents got a divorce a year ago.

"Yes, almost like Sarah," confirmed Lanie.

"But Sarah's real daddy and her mom always argue. But you and Javi never argue. Do you have to argue from now on?" Maya looked back and forth between the adults.

"No, don't be afraid, your mom and I will not argue. And you have to know that just because I wasn't there so long, doesn't mean that I don't love you." Javier tried to explain his daughter.

Maya looked at him for a while in silence, before she hugged him and gave him am smack on the check. "Do I call you Daddy?" she asked.

"Not if you don't want. Javi is perfectly okay," said Esposito.

"I think it's cool that I have two Daddies, but we can to the playground," then wanted to know Maya.

* * *

Three weeks later:

"Javi, you come to the wedding of mom and dad?" Maya askedknow, while she sat on his lap to catch her breath for a moment, after chasing a butterfly for a while.

Javier looked at Lanie and for a moment she saw clearly the pain in his eyes, which he usually kept hidden from her.

"No, I do not think so," replied Javi while he gave his daughter something to drink.

"But why not? All friends of Mom and Dad come. And you're also a friend of mom," stated Maya.

"You can come if you want," said Lanie, probably just for the sake of her daughter, Javier could see how uncomfortable she felt at the moment.

"I can't Maya, I have to stay here and work out so I can run again soon," explained Javier his daughter.

"Daddy," cried Maya 20 minutes later thrilled when she saw Jason. She ran to him and hugged him thight, as soon as he bent down to lift her up.

Javier stared at the man for a moment and realized that he was older than he had assumed. The man seemed to be mid 50's, he was tall and lanky, his hair was gray.

Lanie also reached out to Jason. "Hey, what are you doing here," she asked. Jason put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her to him and kissed her. "Just wanted to see my girls!"

Javier was glad that he was at that moment in a wheelchair because he wasn't sure whether this sight hadn't forced him to his knees. A thick lump formed in his throat and he had trouble keeping the tears back. He gritted his teeth, turned and rolled as fast as possible to the entrance of the rehab center. He heard Lanie called after him, but ignored it, he just wanted to get away as quickly as possible.

Lanie ran after him and put a hand on his shoulder. "Javi I'm sorry," she explained.

Javier had stopped, but she didn't look at her. He didn't want her to see his tears. He didn't want thatshe could read in his eyes, how hurt, sad and lonely he was.

"You don't need to apologize, you're going to marry him soon," he replied huskily staring at his knees.

"But you shouldn't get to know him like this," noted Lanie.

"I do not think he'll ever be very sympathetic to me, so it doesn't matter how I got to know him," stated Javier firmly bitter.

"Javi ..," Lanie wanted to say something, but was interrupted by Esposito.

"Lanie, I can handle it. I can handle it, because I see that he is good for you and Maya, that he makes you happy. And that's all I want. I want that you're happy. But please don't ask me to make friends with him. I will always be there for you and Maya, but I don't want to get to know the man who is now your family. I'm sorry, Lanie, but I can't. And now let me alone, your fiance waits," Esposito said, nodding at Jason's direction before he wheeled towards the entrance.

He managed to hold back his tears until he was in his room. But as soon as he had closed the door behind him, his resolve broke. His shoulders slumped and hot tears blurred his eyes, so he didn't see that someone was in his room.

"Espo what happened," Kate Beckett asked, horrified.

He looked up in surprise and wiped his tears with the sleeve from his shirt from his face.

"I've met Jason," said Esposito, and rolled to his bed.

"Oh, I did not know that Lanie brings him," Beckett said as she helped him into bed.

"She didn't bring him, he picked them up. Maya ran to him and hugged him, Lanie kissed him..., " he trailed off.

"Felt like a punch in the gut, huh?" She patted his arm sympathetically.

"More like a knife in the heart," he murmured, and couldn't prevent the tears ran down his cheeks again.

"Come here," Kate asked, pulling him, as well as her baby bump allowed, in a hug.

Espo let it happen, it was unlikly for the old Javier Esposito, but the new Javier Esposito needed right now someone how held him. "They are my daughter and the woman I love, but still they're not my family," he murmured into her shoulder.

"I'm so sorry," replied Kate. Yes, that was lame, but what should she say to him? Everything will be okay? In this case, for him, probably not.

The two sat for a while, as Espo suddenly began to laugh.

"Your child kicked me," he said and pulled away from Kate. "Junior just knows that you're not Rick and maybe thought that no one else should be hugging mom," said Kate and lovingly caressed her baby bump.

* * *

**_So, another chapter..._**

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**_Please review!_**


	6. Chapter 6

_**Today I had some hours in the car and while my dad drove my mind drifted off...so I'm able to post a new chapter already...**_

* * *

Javi stared at the newspaper he held in his hand, without reading it, when someone knocked at his door and his little sister came in.

"Hey Javi," she greeted him.

He looked up in surprise. "What are you doing here," he asked, confused. He didn't sound absent, just genuinely surprised, usually his sister only had on weekends time to visit him, but today was wednesday.

"I thought today is not the day you should be alone," said Allison and sat on the other side of Javis bed and hugged him from behind. "Today is really not the day you should be alone, so I've took a free day," said Allison before she pulled away and went his side of the bed.

Javi looked at his sister with a faint smile, but gratefully. Today really was not the day on which he should be alone, today was the day on which Lanie would marry Jason. "Thank you," he murmured softly. In that moment he was incredibly grateful, that she had come, he had considered calling her, but hadn't brought himself to it, since she was doing so much for him since the day he woke up.

"How are you," she asked, sitting down next to him and put an arm around his back, and he laid his head on her shoulder.

"Physically getting better, but otherwise crappy," he answered honestly, he was glad she was there, she was beside his mother, the only person in whom he had the feeling that nothing had changed for him.

"I hope I can cheer you up a little," said Allison.

"You being here already makes it a little easier," said Esposito, lay down and put his head on her lap.

Allison wasn't really surprised by this gesture, she felt that her brother needed at the moment only someone who held him. She stroked him gently through the hair.

Javi closed his eyes and wished for a moment that it was Lanie whose fingers slid through his hair.

"Why does it hurt so much Alli? I knew that the day would come," he whispered finally,today he had the feeling that he can barely breathe and he knew very well that it wasn't a physical problem.

"Oh Javi," she murmured, squeezing his shoulder lightly.

"Maya asked me if I would come, because I am also a friend Lanie. Lanie asked me if I wanted to come too. I refused, I can't. Mom has meant, perhaps it would be good if I would go, as the topcoat, but I can't, I can't watch how she marries another. I can't watch how the woman I love ...," his last words were only a whisper and Alli felt tears trickled through her trousers.

* * *

In the evening the siblings lay together in Javier's bed and watched a basketball game when there was a knock at the door and Lanie entered the room.

"Hello," muttered the coroner and looked down, embarrassed.

"I'll leave now," stated Allison, grabbed her purse and left the room.

"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be on the way to your wedding night?"

"I have canceled the wedding," said Lanie. Javier didn't know what to say.

"May I sit down," Lanie asked, pointing to the foot of his bed.

"Of course. But what happened?"

Lanie sat down and took a deep breath. "I freaked out. I totally freaked out. After Jason has picked us up yesterday, I totally freaked out. It wasn't planned that he picks us up, I didn't want it. I didn't want to hurt you more than I already had. I yelled at him how he can dare to come here, then Maya has eventually started to cry and we've postponed the discussion for now. We did give her to your mother, "said Lanie and nervously chewed on her lower lip.

"Where is Maya now?" He wanted to know as he wondered if he should dare to take her hand. Lanie made the decision for him, as she took his hand in hers.

"She's with your mother till tomorrow. But please let me tell the rest," she asked, staring at her hands.

"Of course," he muttered.

"When we were alone at home, Jason asked me why I'm so upset, you'd have to get used to it that I'm with him. We had a fight, until I said that I can't hurt you so much, because you are the love of my life and you're after Maya the most important person for me and I don't want to hurt you so much, because I still love you!" Lanie looked up and looked him in the eyes. "I love you Javier Esposito," she whispered, Javier saw in her eyes that she meant it absolutely seriously.

He leaned forward and did what he wanted to do since he had woken up again: He kissed her long and lovingly. "I love you too, Lanie," he said, as her lips had parted.

A happy smile spread across Lanies face, she kissed him again softly before she continued.

"I wanted to you immediately after that, but I couldn't do that to Jason. I don't love him, but he's a nice guy. We've done everything necessary to cancel the wedding together. Whenwe were ready with it, what God knows was not easy, he took me in his arms and told me that he is glad that his plan worked. He said he had known that he had lost me, since I came back from my first visit at the hospital, and Iwas so angry with myself, because I have told you that with the vacation. He knew that I would probably not see it if he would call off the wedding, so he came here, and thus has forced me to see the truth in the eye," Lanie told him.

"I think this guy is sympathetic to me," Javier laughed and pulled her into his arms. She closed her eyes and snuggled up to him.

"I'm so sorry for what I did to you," whispered Lanie.

"You have absolutely nothingto be sorry about Lanie. We should leave everything behind and just enjoy what we have now," mumerd Javier and blew her a kiss on her hair.

"Can you stay here tonight?" Asked Javier after a while of comfortable silence.

"Is that allowed?" Lanie doubted.

"Probably not, but I would like to wake up next to you tomorrow," said the Puerto Rican.

"Okay, I really like to stay here," agreed Lanie.

She quickly took off her jeans and her shoes before she went back into his bed, pulled the blanket over them both and snuggled up to him.

* * *

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	7. Chapter 7

Javier turned with a quiet sigh in bed and felt around in bed after her - she was not there.

"Please don't let it be only a dream," he murmured, and didn't want to open his eyes because he wanted that it was reality. He want that he and Lanie and Maya were really a family.

He heard the bedroom door opened and then a pat of bare feet on the wooden floor. He took the smell of fresh coffee and heard as a tray was set down next to the bed. Then he felt someone sat down beside him on the bed.

"Wake up, Mr. Esposito," Lanie whispered before she bit him gently into the earlobe.

A smile spread across his face. "Good morning, beautiful," he murmured with closed eyes.

"How do you know, I'm beautiful? You haven't opend your eyes yet!" Lanie laughed.

Javi opened his eyes and smiled at her. "Because you're always beautiful. Yesterday, for example, you were absolutely stunning - just like now," said Javier, when he noticed that she was wearing only his shirt.

"Thank you," murmured Lanie.

"You orderd breakfast," he demanded, looking down on the tray.

"Yes, I woke up and was hungry, but this is not surprising after last night," she grinned, gave him the tray and then slipped to him under the covers.

* * *

After they had breakfasted Lanie snuggled back against his bare chest. Her fingers gently drew one of his surgical scars. "Javi?" She had something on her mind and wanted to get rid of it before they would go back tomorrow.

"Hmm ...," was the only repley by her husband while he was playing with a strand of her hair.

"I ... I would like to have a second child," she said quietly and slipped a little from him, to look him in the eyes while her hand stayed on his chest.

Javier looked up in surprise. "Didn't you once say you want only one child," he wondered.

Lanie chewed nervously on her lower lip. "I know. But when you asked me then whether Maya ever gets siblings, everything was different. I was at this time with Jason. And I didn't lie to you, I really wanted to this time, no more kids. What was mainly because I never wanted to get a child from another man as from you," said Lanie nervous.

Javier was speechless for a moment and gently stroked her hair behind her ear.

"I hope you don't think that that's the only reason why I married you," Lanie whispered, getting his silence the wrong way.

"Lanie, I was just totally speechless for a moment. Believe me when I tell you that was the most beautiful declaration of love that you could give me, "said Javier, before he pulled her to him and kissed her long.

"Then you also want a baby?" Lanie wanted to know breathlessly as the kiss had ended.

"One? When it up to me I would like three or four," Esposito laughed before he kissed her again. He turned around so that he was lying half on top of her, without breaking the kiss. While his lips traveld slowly from her mouth to her ear - or rather, to the point just below her ear, where she was absolutely sensitive, he undid the buttons of the shirt she was wearing.

"You want to start practecing right now?" Lanie sighed as she buried a hand in his hair and her body arched against his caressing hands.

"You bet," he muttered, before he dived under the sheets and kissed his way down over her breasts and further down.

* * *

Later, Javier lay pleasantly exhausted in bed, Lanie used him as a pillow and had fallen asleep a few minutes ago. He also was tired after two rounds of lovemaking, after all, they had made love a good part of last night. But still he fought against sleep, he wanted to enjoy this moment and never forget.

He had moved in with Lanie and Maya as soon as he was out of rehab. After only a few weeks, Maya got uesd to it and since then she called him Dad. This was the first time the case when she came crawling in their bed the middle of the night because a thunderstorm was raging outside. He had sworn Lanie that this was the best night of his life ... but the last nights followed closely. 3 days ago they married and now they were gone for a long weekend in the Hamptons, while Maya stayed with Castle and Kate. Since they checked in, they had left their room only to go to a restaurant, and even then they could barely keep their hands off each. And this morning Lanie had really made the most beautiful gift he had ever received. She wanted a child and he hoped that it'll work, he wanted to experience a pregnancy with his wife. With this in mind and a smile on his lips he fell asleep.

* * *

_**Hey everyone!**_

_**Thanks for reading! Right now I'm not sure if I'll post another chapter. **_

_**And I want to say sorry to all the Caskett fans, but I just didn't see them in this story. Besides there are tons of Caskett storys without any sign of Esplanie, so I'm not really that sorry!**_

_**Reviews will maybo motivate me to write another chapter!**_


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